The Masked Beauty

We each present many selves, whether they be true or false images of who we might seem to be. Behind the masks we all wear is the essence of who we are at the core of our being. The hard part is identifying who that being truly is. As we explore the meaning of wearing a mask, we learn that none of us are quite who or what we seem, not even to ourselves. In putting on a mask, we are able to simulate many identities, to which we attribute to our sense of "self."

My mask represented the dual identity of the true and false self each of us simultaneously entertains. It is a theatrical and dramatic illustration of the false creation of false beauty. Under the shelter of a veil, the natural humility and pure innocence of a freckled face lingers unseen and unappreciated. This illustration seems to reveal the sad existence of the dual identity in each of us, as we learn that it is the mask or image "behind which there is no substance."

My Crazy/Beautiful True Self

Looking back on my entire existence, I can honestly say that I have never felt as though I was "normal." In fact, I've actually proven myself to be anything but "normal." Growing up the only child of an opera superstar, the over-the-top theatrical lifestyle was all I knew. "Crazy" and "weird" were "normal" to me, until I was told differently by the rest of the boring world. Each new and distinct social environment taught me what was "acceptable" and "appropriate."

By the age of four, I had the poise and couth that would impress my mother's haughty cosmopolitan colleagues, but also the bright diva personality that won the attention of the whole room. Neither of these social qualities were "normal" once I reached the kindergarten classroom and discovered that other kids found "fitting in" to be the only way to be accepted. Those inherent personality traits that so uniquely set me apart from the rest of my age group became skeletons in my young, naive closet.


As I look back on those awkward developmental years I spent hiding and shunning my "star" qualities, I can recall my mother constantly assuring me of my naturally bright beauty. I never quite understood what she meant by such "beauty," because I was so deceived by the oppressive social constraints of "normalcy." Yet, over the years, I have come to not only accept, but rather deeply appreciate and treasure those "crazy" and "weird" traits in myself. I often wonder what life would be like if I was indeed "normal," but then I am reminded over and over of how boring of an existence that would be!

It is so overwhelmingly liberating to look into the mirror and see my "true" self as I was naturally supposed to be-- indeed both "crazy" and "weird," and incredibly blessed to be so. How deeply rooted in my sense of my "true" self is the essential significance of this quote: "Whoever is calm and sensible is insane." If nothing else, I know that I have somehow found my footing and knitted myself back together in my own sense of "normalcy"--my quirky, bubbly, and occasionally outrageous, yet delightfully one-of-a-kind "true self."

Beneath the Mask

Wearing a mask of protection, shelter, security, and invisibility is an attempt to free ourselves from the bondage of scrutiny from those around us. But what we each neglect to realize is that beneath the mask, we are held to our own bondage and illusion of who we truly are when we are stripped of our fictitious masks. Beneath the mask, we lose our true selves. We are so caught up in the persona we become while wearing the mask, that as soon as we try to look past it, we are still left with an exposed mask of invisibility. We are profoundly indifferent to how invisible we are beneath the shelter of our masks. This film explores the question of what happens when who we are beneath the mask is revealed.

Image of God: This Little Light of Mine

Throughout art history, Christian images have abounded and morphed, as they relate to the era and culture of the artists creating the works. It is extremely difficult, if not practically impossible, to portray the essence of Christ through a visual, tangible image. In fact, we are commanded in Scripture not to do so, for our human senses could never, despite all intents and purposes, do Him the justice He deserves.
From Hildegard's depiction of the Trinity and the Cosmic Egg, to Islamic calligraphy in its image of the Word, to Rothko's abstract choices of color and shape, it is a struggle to settle on any form of tangible, visual iconography of Christ. Even in Scripture, God is described metaphorically, mystically, and only appears through the Spirit working on earth, and through the miraculous manifestation of Christ as the Son. Each of the metaphorical concepts of God are unimaginably meaningful in and of themselves, but cannot completely encompass the essence of Christ as His holiness should deserve.

After reflecting upon the wide range of Christian imagery, the concept of capturing an image of God became overwhelming for me. I knew that in order to be satisfied with even my slightest attempt, the image would have to be a metaphorical, intangible representation of what I know to be "God." Amidst my struggle to relate to an historical work of Christian art, the two images I responded to the most, the Hagia Sophia and the piece by Harry Callahan, were those that were illuminated by reverent light. As I stared at these photos, it felt as though this "light" was shining on me, and I immediately felt the Spirit moving within me.

In my attempt to capture an image of God, I knew that this "light" would be my inspiration. In my first photo, the "light" is purely glowing in the reflection of a window through which I was admiring a breathtaking sunset. It was in this sunset that I was awestruck by the awesome beauty of His creation, and the palpable presence of His holiness within this reflected image of His creation. This reflection served as a reminder that God is not limited by multi-dimensions or light refraction or mirrored distortion or color illusions. God is purely and palpably present in our experience of those illuminated images, and as we admire them as His precious creation, we feel closer to envisioning Him, as He is Himself.


He is indeed a light unto the world, a light which shines in darkness, and a light unto our path. He lights the way before us so that we may see.

It is with this glorious brightness within me that in childlike faith I will praise and sing,
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"

Landscape: capturing the presence of nature

When capturing a landscape, the presence of nature is key; we expect the fundamental elements of nature: land, sky, water, weather, life. But what we have to consider in today's "natural landscape" is the inevitable impact of "life." The landscape then becomes a question of intrigue: is it a visual representation of nature or culture?

In these landscape images, we see where land and life interact. In contrast to an earthwork, which is a deliberate construction of earth materials within their natural environment, a landscape is the intersection of nature and culture, as they have evolved together. In a landscape, the focus is on the natural scenery, whereas in an earthwork, the intention is for the cultural construction.



Each image I included consists of both natural and artificial visual elements. All of the images were taken on the gorgeous grounds at HoneyRock. As I sauntered through the wilderness, I was so affected by my natural surroundings, but as I am now reflecting on the images, I am overwhelmed as I admit that most of the landscapes I captured were in fact somehow altered by man. In today's landscape, we must assume that in some way, all of the "natural" elements are in some part tainted by "culture," whether it be for good or for bad.

I think what I realize is significant about these landscapes is that all of them capture the natural landscape, or more specifically, the interaction among those key elements of nature: land, sky, water, weather, and life. The landscape I ultimately captured was the visual representation of this interaction, which I think is significantly moving to me as a photographer, as a viewer, and as a human being existing within a both natural and cultural creation.

Getting Lost at "Tiffany's"

portraits: ideal vs. real