Looking back on my entire existence, I can honestly say that I have never felt as though I was "normal." In fact, I've actually proven myself to be anything but "normal." Growing up the only child of an opera superstar, the over-the-top theatrical lifestyle was all I knew. "Crazy" and "weird" were "normal" to me, until I was told differently by the rest of the boring world. Each new and distinct social environment taught me what was "acceptable" and "appropriate."
By the age of four, I had the poise and couth that would impress my mother's haughty cosmopolitan colleagues, but also the bright diva personality that won the attention of the whole room. Neither of these social qualities were "normal" once I reached the kindergarten classroom and discovered that other kids found "fitting in" to be the only way to be accepted. Those inherent personality traits that so uniquely set me apart from the rest of my age group became skeletons in my young, naive closet.
As I look back on those awkward developmental years I spent hiding and shunning my "star" qualities, I can recall my mother constantly assuring me of my naturally bright beauty. I never quite understood what she meant by such "beauty," because I was so deceived by the oppressive social constraints of "normalcy." Yet, over the years, I have come to not only accept, but rather deeply appreciate and treasure those "crazy" and "weird" traits in myself. I often wonder what life would be like if I was indeed "normal," but then I am reminded over and over of how boring of an existence that would be!
It is so overwhelmingly liberating to look into the mirror and see my "true" self as I was naturally supposed to be-- indeed both "crazy" and "weird," and incredibly blessed to be so. How deeply rooted in my sense of my "true" self is the essential significance of this quote: "Whoever is calm and sensible is insane." If nothing else, I know that I have somehow found my footing and knitted myself back together in my own sense of "normalcy"--my quirky, bubbly, and occasionally outrageous, yet delightfully one-of-a-kind "true self."
By the age of four, I had the poise and couth that would impress my mother's haughty cosmopolitan colleagues, but also the bright diva personality that won the attention of the whole room. Neither of these social qualities were "normal" once I reached the kindergarten classroom and discovered that other kids found "fitting in" to be the only way to be accepted. Those inherent personality traits that so uniquely set me apart from the rest of my age group became skeletons in my young, naive closet.
As I look back on those awkward developmental years I spent hiding and shunning my "star" qualities, I can recall my mother constantly assuring me of my naturally bright beauty. I never quite understood what she meant by such "beauty," because I was so deceived by the oppressive social constraints of "normalcy." Yet, over the years, I have come to not only accept, but rather deeply appreciate and treasure those "crazy" and "weird" traits in myself. I often wonder what life would be like if I was indeed "normal," but then I am reminded over and over of how boring of an existence that would be!
It is so overwhelmingly liberating to look into the mirror and see my "true" self as I was naturally supposed to be-- indeed both "crazy" and "weird," and incredibly blessed to be so. How deeply rooted in my sense of my "true" self is the essential significance of this quote: "Whoever is calm and sensible is insane." If nothing else, I know that I have somehow found my footing and knitted myself back together in my own sense of "normalcy"--my quirky, bubbly, and occasionally outrageous, yet delightfully one-of-a-kind "true self."
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