The Masked Beauty

We each present many selves, whether they be true or false images of who we might seem to be. Behind the masks we all wear is the essence of who we are at the core of our being. The hard part is identifying who that being truly is. As we explore the meaning of wearing a mask, we learn that none of us are quite who or what we seem, not even to ourselves. In putting on a mask, we are able to simulate many identities, to which we attribute to our sense of "self."

My mask represented the dual identity of the true and false self each of us simultaneously entertains. It is a theatrical and dramatic illustration of the false creation of false beauty. Under the shelter of a veil, the natural humility and pure innocence of a freckled face lingers unseen and unappreciated. This illustration seems to reveal the sad existence of the dual identity in each of us, as we learn that it is the mask or image "behind which there is no substance."

My Crazy/Beautiful True Self

Looking back on my entire existence, I can honestly say that I have never felt as though I was "normal." In fact, I've actually proven myself to be anything but "normal." Growing up the only child of an opera superstar, the over-the-top theatrical lifestyle was all I knew. "Crazy" and "weird" were "normal" to me, until I was told differently by the rest of the boring world. Each new and distinct social environment taught me what was "acceptable" and "appropriate."

By the age of four, I had the poise and couth that would impress my mother's haughty cosmopolitan colleagues, but also the bright diva personality that won the attention of the whole room. Neither of these social qualities were "normal" once I reached the kindergarten classroom and discovered that other kids found "fitting in" to be the only way to be accepted. Those inherent personality traits that so uniquely set me apart from the rest of my age group became skeletons in my young, naive closet.


As I look back on those awkward developmental years I spent hiding and shunning my "star" qualities, I can recall my mother constantly assuring me of my naturally bright beauty. I never quite understood what she meant by such "beauty," because I was so deceived by the oppressive social constraints of "normalcy." Yet, over the years, I have come to not only accept, but rather deeply appreciate and treasure those "crazy" and "weird" traits in myself. I often wonder what life would be like if I was indeed "normal," but then I am reminded over and over of how boring of an existence that would be!

It is so overwhelmingly liberating to look into the mirror and see my "true" self as I was naturally supposed to be-- indeed both "crazy" and "weird," and incredibly blessed to be so. How deeply rooted in my sense of my "true" self is the essential significance of this quote: "Whoever is calm and sensible is insane." If nothing else, I know that I have somehow found my footing and knitted myself back together in my own sense of "normalcy"--my quirky, bubbly, and occasionally outrageous, yet delightfully one-of-a-kind "true self."

Beneath the Mask

Wearing a mask of protection, shelter, security, and invisibility is an attempt to free ourselves from the bondage of scrutiny from those around us. But what we each neglect to realize is that beneath the mask, we are held to our own bondage and illusion of who we truly are when we are stripped of our fictitious masks. Beneath the mask, we lose our true selves. We are so caught up in the persona we become while wearing the mask, that as soon as we try to look past it, we are still left with an exposed mask of invisibility. We are profoundly indifferent to how invisible we are beneath the shelter of our masks. This film explores the question of what happens when who we are beneath the mask is revealed.

Image of God: This Little Light of Mine

Throughout art history, Christian images have abounded and morphed, as they relate to the era and culture of the artists creating the works. It is extremely difficult, if not practically impossible, to portray the essence of Christ through a visual, tangible image. In fact, we are commanded in Scripture not to do so, for our human senses could never, despite all intents and purposes, do Him the justice He deserves.
From Hildegard's depiction of the Trinity and the Cosmic Egg, to Islamic calligraphy in its image of the Word, to Rothko's abstract choices of color and shape, it is a struggle to settle on any form of tangible, visual iconography of Christ. Even in Scripture, God is described metaphorically, mystically, and only appears through the Spirit working on earth, and through the miraculous manifestation of Christ as the Son. Each of the metaphorical concepts of God are unimaginably meaningful in and of themselves, but cannot completely encompass the essence of Christ as His holiness should deserve.

After reflecting upon the wide range of Christian imagery, the concept of capturing an image of God became overwhelming for me. I knew that in order to be satisfied with even my slightest attempt, the image would have to be a metaphorical, intangible representation of what I know to be "God." Amidst my struggle to relate to an historical work of Christian art, the two images I responded to the most, the Hagia Sophia and the piece by Harry Callahan, were those that were illuminated by reverent light. As I stared at these photos, it felt as though this "light" was shining on me, and I immediately felt the Spirit moving within me.

In my attempt to capture an image of God, I knew that this "light" would be my inspiration. In my first photo, the "light" is purely glowing in the reflection of a window through which I was admiring a breathtaking sunset. It was in this sunset that I was awestruck by the awesome beauty of His creation, and the palpable presence of His holiness within this reflected image of His creation. This reflection served as a reminder that God is not limited by multi-dimensions or light refraction or mirrored distortion or color illusions. God is purely and palpably present in our experience of those illuminated images, and as we admire them as His precious creation, we feel closer to envisioning Him, as He is Himself.


He is indeed a light unto the world, a light which shines in darkness, and a light unto our path. He lights the way before us so that we may see.

It is with this glorious brightness within me that in childlike faith I will praise and sing,
"This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine!"

Landscape: capturing the presence of nature

When capturing a landscape, the presence of nature is key; we expect the fundamental elements of nature: land, sky, water, weather, life. But what we have to consider in today's "natural landscape" is the inevitable impact of "life." The landscape then becomes a question of intrigue: is it a visual representation of nature or culture?

In these landscape images, we see where land and life interact. In contrast to an earthwork, which is a deliberate construction of earth materials within their natural environment, a landscape is the intersection of nature and culture, as they have evolved together. In a landscape, the focus is on the natural scenery, whereas in an earthwork, the intention is for the cultural construction.



Each image I included consists of both natural and artificial visual elements. All of the images were taken on the gorgeous grounds at HoneyRock. As I sauntered through the wilderness, I was so affected by my natural surroundings, but as I am now reflecting on the images, I am overwhelmed as I admit that most of the landscapes I captured were in fact somehow altered by man. In today's landscape, we must assume that in some way, all of the "natural" elements are in some part tainted by "culture," whether it be for good or for bad.

I think what I realize is significant about these landscapes is that all of them capture the natural landscape, or more specifically, the interaction among those key elements of nature: land, sky, water, weather, and life. The landscape I ultimately captured was the visual representation of this interaction, which I think is significantly moving to me as a photographer, as a viewer, and as a human being existing within a both natural and cultural creation.

Getting Lost at "Tiffany's"

portraits: ideal vs. real

Earthworks: pecha-kucha

creation in the image of God

This photo by Harry Callahan is truly moving in the way it speaks to me. When I view this picture in relation to the idea of imagining God, I can't help but feel overcome by His almighty character and presence in His creation. The stillness of the image is captivating because when we think of large bodies of water, we think of the rise and tide of the waves and movement of the earth. We are able to physically feel the power of our tangible surroundings, the creation in which we are physically emerged. Yet this photograph allows us to capture the still and unshakable essence of God in His abundant creation. The looming clouds in the enormously vast sky embody an entity all on their own, one that casts itself over all of existence, shedding both light and shade for the rest of creation to subside under. There is also a sense of self-reflection on the surface of the water that allows water and sky to merge seamlessly. As the unidentified human bodies interrupt the image, they are too small to be recognizably significant, yet too apparent to avoid being seen at all. In this view, God ultimately knows and acknowledges each individual being, no matter how small or insignificant.

hagia sophia

1- What does this image mean historically?
The Hagia Sophia was built in the 6th century on the site of the Byzantium acropolis as the most heralding architectural, empirical, and spiritual endeavor of its time. Called the "Church of the Divine Wisdom," Istanbul's domed structure and vast interior is illuminated by a reverent light which shines through the windows aligning the construct's walls. Originally built to serve as the principal place of worship, as well as the greatest church in Christendom, its impressive stature and grandeur were nevertheless acknowledged and later taken over by the Ottomans after Mehmet the Conqueror claimed victory over the city in 1493. As the world's most impressive building, the Ayasofya was then converted from a place of Christian worship, into the most revered mosque in existence.

2- What does this image mean to you? Why did you choose it?
The striking image of the Hagia Sophia speaks to me in its palpable spiritual luminance. Although the building itself seems to scream of darkness and gloom, the light shining through its downcast windows brings a vibrant sense of the lively presence of the Holy Spirit. It is meaningful to me that this once holy place of Christian worship is now merely a museum, housing a history of the mosque's Islamic faith in its vast interior, covered with gold tones, Islamic calligraphy, and iconic ideology. I am moved by the image of light shining through a once apparently dark dome, as I begin to wonder what it would feel like to experience the Hagia Sophia in person, to stand at first in awe of its wondrous structure, but yet later to look up and be met with the awesome beams of light from above. I just view this image of the Holy Spirit as absolutely radiant.

3- Is the image true? Why or Why not?
The image itself is true of the character of the Spirit in all that it touches. At first glance, the dark shadows looming within the apparently dreary and downcast interior of the Hagia Sophia seem to suggest an almost deserted quality of the building. Yet, when I consider the truth in the image, I can personally sense the presence of Christian hope, promise, and light in the once seemingly lost darkness of the barren place of worship. What once looked so still and dead, now houses such palpable life.

a sight to be seen.

"Men act and women appear. Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at. This determines not only most relationships between men and women but also the relation of women to themselves. The surveyor of woman in herself is male: the surveyed female. Thus she turns herself into an object--and most particularly an object of vision: a sight."

Today's image of the body is very much inspired by how we see--how our body is seen influences how we see ourselves. The male and female bodies have always been directly related to one another, essentially because of the way in which males and females see the image of one another. "Men look at women. Women watch themselves being looked at." The female of today is not aware of herself as in the nude Venus of Urbino by Titan during the High Renaissance of the 1500s, but rather in 2010, the female is aware of her social power as well as self-empowerment. The male and female bodies are not coupled together as they are in the Egyptian sculptures of King and Queen Menkaure during 2680-2565 B.C.E. Instead of being attached to a wall and to each other, the female and male bodies of 2010 are free standing, free moving, and free from each other. The female is not supporting the male like the Queen did in presenting the King to the Pharoahs. She is independent, secure, and liberated.

As the cultural depiction of the mirror was often used to symbolize the vanity of women, the female self-image of 2010 represented in this photo is designed to flatter the female body, rather than just the male spectator. Women of 2010 are indeed aware that they are being looked at as a cultural "image" of the expected embodiment of today's female. She is strong, healthy, beautiful, and finally powerful. We no longer consider the image of strength, power, and confidence to be solely represented by the classical Greecian warrior--the perfect male body. Instead, we see today's female as beautiful in her own self-confidence, self-empowerment, and self-image. She sees the male see her as a vision of her physical female body, but the real female body of 2010 is seen as she sees herself--as she sees her own outer reflection as a representation of her inner self.